Sunday 17 April 2011

Interview #1 - Monologue Exercise

Would I say that I was treated unfairly?

Unfairly. I'm sorry I just... I just don't see this as an issue of... but if you need a word for your notebook, then I'd say what happened was dirty. But that's hard too, isn't it? You just want an answer, but this is important. For example, am I being literal or figurative? Mr. Hodge made me feel dirty even though he never touched me. I felt dirty because I knew that what he was doing was wrong, but also because he didn't want me.

When Michelle told me about the first time I could tell she was proud. I felt shame because I thought that it meant that he thought that she had the most talent out of all of us. I was jealous because he had humiliated me during rehearsal when he said that I looked like a girl that could get raped and that's why he had cast me.

Anyway, a few weeks after Michelle told me what was happening he was talking about Lolita with us during a break. He said that he saw it as a love story, just a different kind of love story. He singled me out again in front of the group. What do I think? I totally tensed up. You see, at this point I didn't know if he knew that I knew what was going on, and I didn't know if anyone else knew - but I understood that it was a test.

So I lied. I said I hadn't read the book. About six weeks later I drove Michelle to Planned Parenthood to get an abortion. All I could think about was that I better not get caught because I hadn't taken my driver's test, and then how weird it was that that was what I was worried about.

It was over pretty quick.

But to answer you, unfairness doesn't matter. I did what was asked of me and what I thought was right. I didn't say anything to save myself and then I got out. I mean... thank god it wasn't me.

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